Deceit

 I lay in my bed surrounded by the serenity of a farewell, a new beginning and a welcome of new achievements. Then you throbbed at the most unexpected of times and punched a blow in my stomach. For days, my whole body felt like a part of it was missing. A large question mark imprinted on the once certain and definite things. Things that need not be thought of. Things that were just always there for by definition they were meant to give peace and comfort. I don't know who and what it is anymore. Not a waterflow of tears, but the kind that come anywhere anytime, but just a drop or two. Sometimes more. Stomach filled by your own insecurities, fears and uncertainties. No space for left any physical consumption, but it deteriorates with all the mental existence. A silence so loud, thoughts so repetitive, a peace simply lost. You are not bound with me, I have no right to consider you mine or expect any permanent association. You should leave as and when you like, if this is not what you want. I do not hold you or own you. You are a separate individual, as am I, so take your leave if you must. But do so quickly. I cannot bear to witness this. You are not mine, no one ever will be. Take your leave, and let me be alone. i don't want you. I don't want any insecurities. I want a self sufficiency, which only I can provide. Only i can provide me self sufficiency, so please leave me alone. I do not view parts of the world that our too ugly to witness. I will not self victimize, so don't feel sorry. Simply go. Do not come back ever again. Deceit has caused my defeat and I shall accept my loss with grace, i will not put up any fight. But, please leave.

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