Please Find Attached- PFA


My heart reaches out to my intestines in an attempt to twist them upside down. My brain stops as it concentrates on the changing position of the organ that it so meticulously wishes to drive. Then there is not a trifle of my mind left to be utilized. Closing my eyes, I picture drifting shapes of my insides as I am looked top to down by the world. What for? For my dumbness, for my uselessness and for my inability to succeed. A departed body walking around with a highly capable brain, that is being wasted away to the sensation of the twisting intestines. Every time I try, I trip on my own expectations. Then I lie on the floor pretending that this was a choice I made, as rivers of failures flow down my face. I continue laying as my heart successfully manages to damage my intestines. I continue laying as connoisseurs comment on my distasteful act of falling. Which probably occurred due to my unintelligent brain.
I don't know what pains me more, my own expectations or being deemed as dumb. 
The next phase must be positive, on having woken up, on trying again, on falling again, but this time in a bed of flowers that was now envied, which would be a judgement i wouldn't mind. 
PFA my fears, sorrows, anxieties and the consequential dumbfounded performances I have put on display. None of them are true. I rot inside. I look down to myself as incapable. I am the connoisseur and i am the distasteful act. 

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