A Minor Mishappening

Twenty-one years later I question myself. Always assured of my being, now I fumble on the question who am I. I am insecure. I am under-confident. I think I am a failure. I am scared. I am the most afraid inside. I am a squirrel who runs away at the sight of the smallest threats. I want to hide and not be seen. I used to blame external factors all my life for feeling so small. But the truth is it was always me. I dragged myself down and rubbed mud on my face, then blamed the world for doing that to me. It was always me. I have hurt myself more than anyone ever has. Now that I am alone. I realise. What do I do about this? I don't know. Pull myself down deeper or stagnate for a little and try to get up. 
The happening of a mishappening. Me. 

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