Define Fine
I am fine.
what does being fine feel like? Like a hover fly. Insane enough to go close to a human, wise enough to know humans think I am a bee, smart enough to rapidly change positions, happy enough to hover the same flower without getting bored. The key here is he acts on what he thinks. he listens to that voice in his head. It's like an announcement speaker fitted in the brain, which vocalizes a thought in the entire system, expecting the system to act in accordance with it. But, a failed system wouldn't do that. A failed system will deviate. A failed system will try to be indifferent to the announcement. A failed system will be out of sync with that voice. That's me. I am the failed system.
How do I know that i am fine, if i am not able to do what I think. Who am I? What do I do? What can I be? That announcement speaker at the top in my mind tells me everything. Its loud and clear in my head, yet I cannot hear a word. What do you do then? Who do you tell? "Yes, I know what I should do. But how do I make myself do it? I am not able to. I don't finish what I start and don't start what I think. I breathe, yet I feel choked. How do I address this? Yes, I have. I have accepted it. But what next? I am stuck at the same place for months. Its spreading further slowly. I imagine layers. And I am stuck in a dark one, where I see and feel nothing. Where air does not penetrate and light is God, unsure of its existence."
I'll wait. Maybe I am absolutely fine. It's just overthinking. It's just a temporary feeling. Right?