The Sinned Biter

 14th December

I wonder why? I wonder how?

Its almost time to sleep and I am morally contemplating my decision to give my two practical finals to the shopkeeper so that he can write MY work for me. Because. I have money to pay him. Whilst my manual enlightens him.
Just as I was typing this, my phone buzzed. I received the entire file of.... Fuck. I don't even know the subject name. Oh shit. I am one of them. Officially. My conscience is choking me. i don't even pronounce conscience as conscience, but as con-science. Why? Because it is a bloody conned science.
I AM IN AN ETHICAL DILLEMA.
Which direction will I be pulled into?
Am I a corrupted human being? Who am I kidding. I well know that I am. But to this level? Fuck. Do I really want to turn my degree to a dummy degree? I don't. But... They won't know. BUT, I FUCKING KNOW!!!!!!!! I don't use the word fuck this often. This indicates my bombing mind.
27 pages. Am I so lazy that I can't write 27 pages. What if... NO. I can't say it here. 
Anyhow. 
I am ok.
Are you ok?
That's also a book by the way.
Who moved my cheese?
That too is a book.
Coming to the awkward mosquito bite.
Bloody hell. I can't think about a mosquito while I am going through an ethical crisis.
Oh dear mosquito,
You have sucked out the blood from my body
A body that has sinned 
And maybe deserves it too
I am ready to pay for it this way.
Not another failure in my life. Please
Even if that happens
I just need gratification. Isn't that the very reason we chase, need and desire things. For fulfillment, gratification, satisfaction. Happiness? So why should I wish for a materialized success. I wish for gratification. Thats what i have spent 20 years of my life chasing and will probably spend 80 more. The infinite trait of life. It has no beginning, no end. Its just there. No matter how many times you kill it, it will be back to bite you.
Exactly like that mosquito.



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